Returns

"Don't wait any longer.
Dive in the ocean,
leave
and let the sea be you.
Silent, absent,
walking an empty road,
all praise." Rumi






At first, albeit a mightily jetlagged glance, Sydney hasn't changed much.
Which sort of surprises me.
That the Westfield shopping mall is still exactly where I left it, and so are "The Greeks" selling their overpriced produce at the grocery across the road from where I live.
That Jenn is still cheeky, Soojin still loves sake and Jutta remains the same amazing work-driven hero I remember her as.
That my friends have not forgotten me. Have missed me. Have looked forward to my return. The last one astounds me most of all.
Yes, I am funny like that.

I probably haven't changed that much either. To the first, perfunctory glance. A couple new wrinkles, hair a few shades redder, but that's all.
Yet, I know I've changed deeper. Duh. Obviously. I have jumped the ship and left. I have dived into this scary ocean with no security rope. With no swimsuit even.

I've changed and so has Sydney. So have my friends.
And the next months will probably bring the mutual exploration of 'how'.

Meanwhile, the normalcy of being back here is baffling. Unnerving. Frightening. While at this point there are still people to catch up with and travel stories to be told, soon... It'll be like I'd never been anywhere. Like it was nothing but a dream, a vivid one, but quickly fading. The unrelenting speed and intensity of everyday life will close up above me and swallow me up.

It's good that I have this blog after all. It'll remind me.