Is it hot over there?

Here’s a little Jerusalem story that Bertrand recalled to me, and is happy for me to share with you.

Characters:

Bertrand, the ever curious scientist on a spiritual path

An Orthodox Jew (let’s call him OJ) of unspecified age, properly clad in black and white, with twirling side locks completing the picture.

Place:

Lobby of the hostel, where Bertrand is staying. Bertrand is chilling on the couch, when OJ, who seems to be the friend of the house and frequent visitor saunters in, sees Bertrand, and the two of them begin small talk.

OJ: Where are you from?

B: From France, but now I live in Australia.

OJ: Wow, Australia! So, tell me, is it hot out there?

B: Well, it’s winter at the moment…

OJ (interrupts him): No, I mean GIRLS. Is it HOT???

Bertrand (bewildered): I guess you could say it’s all right…

They go on for a little while in this semi-tedious mode, and then…

OJ: What do you do for work?

B: Research.

OJ (suddenly animated, fingers flexing in kneading movements): MASSAGE???

B: No, research!

OJ (disappointed): Oh…

The story, when told, spurred peals of laughter, followed by earnest reflection whether such smooth example of one-track mind (hot->girls->massage) could, and would be by-product of OJ’s religion-governed sexual abstinence, and in consequence, his sexual repression?

Quoted after Marissa Brostoff: Abstinence Education: Not Just For the Goyim?

"That the Orthodox Union supports abstinence before marriage is hardly news. Halacha (Jewish law) and rabbinic writings prohibit not just non-marital sexual relations, but also some seemingly benign behaviors that might precipitate sex outside of marriage. Many traditional Jews are shomer negiah, which means that they refrain from physical contact with members of the opposite sex other than a spouse or close relative. They may also practice yichud, which prohibits members of the opposite sex from spending time alone together."

You can read the rest of the article here

I reluctantly recalled my own up-close third-degree encounter with a young Orthodox man in a dark alley of Old Jerusalem from the year before, which left a bad taste in my mouth (but thankfully wasn’t threatening to my life or anything like that). Then there was the Bedouin in the Negev, a young man lonely in the desert and most likely forbidden contact with girls of his own faith (Muslim I presume), consoling himself by voyeuring Western tourists during their ablutions and attempting to lure them into his bedroom ("Do you want to see my room?").

Says Shiva Rodriguez of Liberated Christians: "Some of the side effects of sexual repression as observed in human beings include lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem, depression, suicidal tendencies, and higher aggressive behavior. A child who has been taught to believe that sex is dirty and bad will often mature to become an adult who is self-conscious about his body and overwhelmed with guilt when the natural desire to breed arouses him. Adults who are restricted in their sexual inclinations will often experience frustration that can result in either suicidal actions or violence towards others.

It should come as a surprise to no one that societies that have more relaxed legislature over sexual matters enjoy a lower violent crime rate and are not often seen butting heads with other societies on the war field.
Numerous medical professionals, psychologists, philosophers, and other champions of sexual liberation and its benefits to society have been defamed and their work bastardized by political and religious leaders on the platform of morality and wholesome family values. Citizens of such societies are therefore instructed to deeply repress many of their strong natural urges and desires, resulting in an increase of frustration, stress, and emotional instability that is disguised with the mask of being “the right thing to do.” (...)

Often this opens the door wide for religion, particularly the brands that demand their followers forsake earthly delights and suppress all natural inclinations as proof of being a good and worthy person. Never has the idea of how sexual repression can result in aggressive behavior been better demonstrated than with the history of the followers of such religions butchering and torturing other peoples whose attitudes on such subjects differed from their own. Nor is it a coincidence that the punishments dealt to such people often involved the mutilation of their sexual organs."

Now go and read more here

Hey, I'm not saying that every religious person is a pervert. Okay? Okay. There are numerous spiritual traditions (Tibetan Vajrayana Buddhism for example), where sexual abstinence is practiced, but the practitioners are given methods to harness and transform their sexual energy into wisdom and compassion - to sublimate it. I don't know how effective they are in reality, but at least the powerful kundalini energy is acknowledged and worked with - it is not repressed.

Good for them.

But for the rest of us, ignorant common folk...

Bertrand, Samira and I looked at each other and wagged our heads:

"Sexual repression?" we concluded "No good."

Update:

For those interested in reading about some implications of being "shomer negiah", go there: Nice Jewish Girl's Blog.